Kelabu Ke-20

Aku sempat dibayangi oleh ketakutan akan datangnya hari ini.
Ketakutan yang dibuat oleh permainan pikiranku sendiri.
Ketakutan yang hanya aku yang memiliki.
Dan aku yang menganggap diriku sendiri spesial tanpa ada yang peduli.

Aku benci, aku sedih, aku kesal, aku marah, aku lelah, dan aku sakit...
Karena aku berjalan di jalan yang sama seperti kelabu pertama, kedua, ketiga dan kelabu-kelabu yang lainnya.
AKu tidak mampu menemukan apa yang harus aku cari, dan aku terlalu buta untuk mengetahuinya.
Aku pernah sarat akan mimpi, visi, dan misi, tapi aku tenggelam kini...
Entah siapa dan bagaimana aku bisa terselamatkan dari bencana yang datang dari dalam diriku sendiri.
Dan aku marah, memiliki seorang pria yang sama sekali tak memiliki mimpi
Hanya omong kosong yang ditawarkan padaku.
Aku benci, tapi aku tak sanggup berlari...
Ah terserah, ingin menulis saja malas rasanya...

Jurnal Hati Versi Malam

Angin hari ini mengingatkan saya pada sesuatu
Sesuatu yang telah lama sekali hilang, dan menghitamkan periuk saya.
Ingin rasanya menghembuskan lagi asap yang pernah terbang ke dalam kalbu saya, yang telah lama tenggelam bersama kapal Nuh.

Hari ini, untuk pertama kalinya saya berani melihat apa yang disebut dengan rindu.
Rindu itu seperti tahi. Pura-pura saja tak kita inginkan, tapi begitu tak datang sungguh meninggalkan sakit. Rindu membuat kita berusaha membuangnya, dengan cara bertemu dia yang tercinta. Persis seperti tahi, kita juga berusaha membuangnya dengan cara bertemu dengan kakus.

Angin pernah membisikkan sesuatu pada saya. Sesuatu yang tak seorangpun mau melirik barang sedetik saja. Saya sangat menikmati angin tersebut, beserta bisikan2 nakalnya. Ingin rasanya duduk sendiri saja, bersama hujan dan kertas. Menorehkan luka dalam yang ingin saya kembalikan pada pemiliknya.

Ahhhh segar benar angin malam. Membelai lutut dan telinga, membuat jelaga dalam periuk turut menguap dan menengeluarkan bau yang teramat tak sedap. Hina sungguh hati dalam pelana, menanti satu hal, yang tak dilirik manusia...

Habis sudah handuk untuk menyeka keringat, keringat-keringat busuk yang kau lahurkan bersamaan saat entry ini dibaca...
Aku butuh cermin
Aku butuh engkau

Wow This Is The World

Kamu percaya gak?
Guru kita ternyata bisa aja berupa gak manusia
Yakinkah kamu kalo kamu belajar buat berbagi dari manusia?
Coba mulai pagi ini perhatikan
Kucing jelek yang kelaparan kalo udah nemu makanan pasti dibagiin anak-ananknya dulu baru dia makan
Semut kalo ketemu pasti salam-salaman dulu, gak kayak kita
Angin, kalo berhembus pasti ke satu arah
Tembok, dibangun buat pertahanan
Lampu, kapanpun kita pencet tombol on off nya pasti nyala
Jendela, membantu kita buat ngeliat ke luar
Apa lagi?
Banyak
Don't you learn something from those things?
Saking banyaknya. kadang aku gak ngerti, kapan kepalaku berhenti buat drummin'

Pada Siapa Aku Harus Berguru?

Pada siapa aku harus berguru? Ya pada siapa?

Aku hidup dan bernafas selama 18 tahun untuk mencari sesuatu. Dan aku berguru pada banyak macam dan wujud guru. Pada hewan, manusia, dan alam. Rupanya aku tidak terlalu cerdas sehingga aku harus menembus tahun kedelapan belas untuk dapat memfokuskan apa yang ingin kupelajari. Klise, sederhana, dan mengundang tawa. Tentang, "Untuk apa kita hidup?".

Akhirnya, setelah pertanyaanku beribu kali menguap ke udara, kini aku temukan sedikit jawabannya.

Manusia dikirim ke dunia dengan membawa goresan tujuan hidup masing-masing. Ada yang dilahirkan ke dunia dan menjadikan uang sebagai prioritas utamanya. Kekayaan, kemakmuran, dan kepemilikan menjadi prioritas utama. bagi mereka bekerja siang-malam membanting tulang adalah untuk mencari sesuatu yang disebut dengan uang. Kesuksesan bagi mereka terletak pada kepemilikan mereka atas emas, permata, rumah mewah, mobil A, B, atau C, dan anak-anak mereka tinggal atau bersekolah di negara A, B, atau C.

Manusia dengan tipe kedua, lahir dengan membawa goresan tujuan "kebahagiaan hakiki". Mereka bahagia dengan apa yang mereka miliki saat ini. Mereka umumnya bergelar Profesor, Doktor, PhD, Master, dst. Mereka tetap merasa bahagia dengan naik angkutan umum, karena mereka telah memiliki apa yang diinginkan oleh hati mereka. Umumnya manusia dengan tipe kedua kadang dianggap munafik dan kurang rasional. Benarkah?

Apakah salah uang, kedua tipe manusia di atas ada? Bagi manusia tipe kedua, uang bukanlah segalanya, tapi mereka tetap hidup dan ada...

Bagi saya...

Hidup ini kecil

Saya ingin mencari apa yang disebut dengan kebahagiaan hakiki, saya takut dengan uang. Saya memang makan, dan membayar apapun dengan uang, tapi saya takut kepada mereka.Saya sudah bertekad, hidup saya untuk mencari ilmu, mencari kebahagiaan hakiki, dan mengabdi padanya. Masalah uang, itu urusan belakang. Asal saya dihormati oleh orang, dan mereka memanggil saya dengan julukan "The Wise" karena ilmu yang saya miliki...

Tapi...

Pada siapa ya saya harus berguru, agar saya bisa menerima dengan ikhlas kondisi saya di masa depan, dan merasa kecukupan dengan apa yang saya miliki. Saya mungkin manusia dengan tipe kedua, tapi... Saya tidak munafik.

Pada siapa saya harus berguru, agar saya tidak dimabuk oleh mimpi dan ambisi?

Pada siapa?

Anda tahu?

Persahabatan Kita Sang Hujan

Hujan

Kemana hujan yang turun belakangan ini di kotaku?

Mendadak hilang tanpa jejak, meninggalkanku dengan segudang kesedihan dan keputusasaan.

Bau segar tanah yang selalu kurindu mendadak hilang, dan bahkan tidak meninggalkan pesan dalam hatiku

Coba hujan punya handphone ya? Setidaknya dia bisa mengirimkan SMS untukku, sekedar mengucapkan sampai jumpa lagi

Ah hujan...

Aku rindu sekali saat kau menyapa aku

Aku rindu menari bersamamu

Bernyanyi bersamamu, dan memandang riang tarianmu saat aku terbangun dari tidurku

Kamu tahu, baik teman, sahabat, dan keluargaku sekalipun...

Belum pernah ada yang membuatku sebahagia saat aku menyapamu

Aku memimpikanmu saat tidur lelapku...

Aku bahkan ingin terus berada bersamamu, walaupun aku tahu pada akhirnya ibuku akan mengomel karena aku terserang demam. Hehehe...

Hujanku, mengapa banyak sekali yang tak mengharapkan kehadiranmu? Apa yang salah padamu?

Kau selalu menawarkan kehidupan di tengah kerumunan manusia yang telah menyerah untuk hidup

Apa yang salah padamu? Salah siapa manusia membencimu?

Aku juga manusia...

Tapi aku tidak membencimu

Aku mencintaimu

Hadiah terindah dari Tuhanku untuk mengingatkan manusia saat kau lambaikan tanganmu padaku...

Ah persetan dengan romantisme... Persetan dengan melankoli...

Aku hanya merasa riang saat bersamamu...

SSSTTT.... Ada yang datang dan mengganggu persahabatan kita...

Can just I fly away and leave you behind?

LET"S OPEN AHMADINEJAD FC!!!

READ THIS, AND SEND YOUR COMMENT TO MY E-MAIL

ahmadisaddam@yahoo.co.uk

Bureaucracy at People's Service, Not the People Serving Bureaucracy
2006/11/21
In the Name of Almighty God-the All-Knowing, the Most Lovingly CompassionateI have been thinking about the advantages and disadvantages of bureaucracy ‎for some time now. The main question is how much does the contemporary system ‎of bureaucracy help to solve people's problems? ‎Bureaucracy is not a new phenomenon. Powerful governments and ‎civilizations have always had ministerial and bureaucratic discipline. In recent times, ‎bureaucracy has come to be known as rational and scientific management. ‎Nevertheless, we have to see how the written guidelines, instructions and procedures ‎‎(in a bureaucratic system) - which have been the subject of the theoretical discussions ‎concerning the issue of instrumental rationalism- differ from that which has ‎practically happened. And we have to especially pay attention to those bureaucratic ‎systems which have occurred in the name of modernizing governments in the last few ‎decades, and indeed how these processes have rationalized government and how ‎much they have "governmentalized" minds - meaning having made them formal, ‎administrative, and functioning based on certain clichés. ‎Revolutions can get entangled in the spider webs of bureaucracy and these ‎webs have a reactionary and backward-looking character. They diffuse all the ‎revolutionary spirit and consciousness. They would return conditions back to pre-‎revolutionary times. ‎I totally believe in the positive aspects of the bureaucracy on the condition that ‎it truly works within the course of scientific management. But for instance, in ‎countries such as ours - which in the previous few decades had been under the ‎dominion of a puppet regime and have experienced some type of an imposed and ‎imported counterfeit model (of governance) - the bureaucracy has basically been ‎made a government inside a government. In such a case, this gives the appearance ‎that the country, its economy, and its budget are somehow appraisable, planned, ‎scientific and transparent. But in reality, it makes many things unclear, opaque, ‎impracticable, and in many cases it even actively counteracts projected government ‎plans.‎Even more, it is better to say that sometimes bureaucracy loses its fundamental ‎role and changes into an ideology. It creates an atmosphere that imposes an impaired, ‎paralyzed, disabled, and stagnant condition and character on the whole system. ‎Consequently and gradually, the procedure becomes the goal, and the goal becomes ‎the procedure. ‎Bureaucratic ideology would in effect cause internal friction within a system. ‎Everyone knows his work and duties in detail, but no one knows anything regarding ‎the whole task and its practical result. Everybody is busy with working, but the work ‎does not proceed. They work, but no problems are solved and no ties will be ‎untangled. ‎In summary, one must say that the present bureaucratic system has a few ‎prominent characteristics. First of all, it grows and multiplies rapidly, like ivy which ‎grows in every direction. It constantly expands its domain of influence, jurisdictional ‎boundaries and area of rule. ‎Second, it defends itself with all its power. It does not even like to give up ‎unnecessary equipment that it has and is not even willing to transfer them to others ‎who might need them, and it keeps them with unjustifiable reasons.‎Third, it is extremely self-serving, self-centered and narrow-minded. Its ‎fourth characteristic is that it resists any changes and reforms. It regards any reforms ‎as a disadvantage to itself and it will resist it. And finally, its efficiency is very low ‎and its expenditures are very high and keep escalating. ‎What would be some solutions in such a circumstance? ‎Some would simply give up and would receive reports and statistical studies ‎from their subordinates and would pass them on to their higher-ups in the hierarchy. ‎And with these statistical reports they would clear their conscience. ‎But for a person such as me, the people are more important than the statistics. ‎All governments and chief executive officers present these types of statistics and ‎know how to play the numbers game. It means that based upon their official reports, ‎everything is perfect and everyone can sleep sound, because the bureaucracy is ‎awake. ‎But in reality, the people's problems have not been solved. This is a dangerous ‎issue which I have noticed since I was the mayor of Tehran and even before that time ‎it bothered me. And I have tried to break with these erroneous customs and wrong ‎imported "innovations", and free the government administration from the web which ‎has tangled its operations. Sometimes I succeeded and sometimes I could not.‎The second way of being emancipated from the quagmire of bureaucracy is by ‎infringing or bypassing the laws. Many people – because of the interest of their ‎gangs, parties, political factions or their own personal interests- have followed this ‎way. These practices and operations are not consistent with my belief and ‎characteristic, and in no way do I believe in these types of approaches. I have come to ‎the office for the reform of this, because I strongly believe that we can not arrive at ‎Islamic government unless everyone is equal before the law and this is guaranteed. ‎The third way is to have a revolutionary reform, refining, and cleansing in the ‎bureaucratic system of the country. This is a crucial duty of the parliament and the ‎government which has to take place immediately - even partially- in this period of ‎time. Otherwise later on, one can not expect this to happen, because it will become ‎more difficult day-by-day. ‎Bureaucracy- which is the manifestation of instrumental rationalism and has to ‎be instrument- has itself become the goal and object of the government. Instead of ‎lowering the expenditure and making the budget clear and implementing the plans, it ‎has become a brake on the governmental operations. Indeed, one can say that this ‎dysfunction has escalated so far that some networks are created and established so ‎that the public funds be spent on private expenditure - a system for stalling creativity ‎and inventiveness and converting a revolutionary, surging and innovative river to a ‎lifeless and motionless marsh. ‎Now we have come to a very important junction: will the revolution be ‎sacrificed for bureaucracy or is the bureaucracy at the service of the revolution. ‎The other point regarding this issue (of bureaucracy) is that we must reach an ‎equilibrium point between theory and practice. We continuously face two dangerous ‎issues in this path. One is unprofessional and unscientific encounter with the ‎challenges we face - without considering the problems of the country- which can be ‎called a spur-of-the-moment approach (without considering the quality of the results). ‎‎(One should note that a spur-of-the-moment approach is different than an activist ‎approach and indeed they are opposites).‎The second danger is that in the name of scientific management or rationalism, ‎and through bureaucratic excuses and hiding behind the title of "gradual reform", we ‎justify stagnation and reactionary management and even go backwards. ‎Some people want to justify and theorize national and managerial laziness, ‎slowness and incompetence - under the false banner of being scientific approach. ‎This is also a form of dodging one's responsibility and action in the name of ‎perfectionism. Being scientific is different than an unhealthy intellectualism. One ‎can not solve all real problems (of the people) from inside closed-off rooms. Science ‎has to be at the disposal of actions and deeds. I am worried of the thought that the ‎public funds and historical opportunity of the ninth government would be sacrificed ‎for the stagnant mentality, action-dodging and conservatism of some people. ‎I am against rashness and action-for-actions sake, but we should not let the revolution ‎and people be sacrificed for bureaucracy. Our historical duty is to put bureaucracy at ‎the service of the people. Our slogan should be: ‎Bureaucracy at people's service, not the people serving bureaucrac

Written by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at 19:55

COMMENTS

Tipene Curtis
tip...@yahoo.com
Greetings Your Excellency I see that the American Military is playing the Lets Blame Iran game. Iran is apparently the reason why things are so bad in Iraq. Do the Americans think that we are all crazy and will believe their continuous lies. Will it ever end.
manrix bianchi

juz...@yahoo.it
Dear and honorable president my lasts comments not was pubblied and i admire you why this? Are messages too much for show all? Long life to you and Iran and all country that no like death but life.
freddy utensilz

I just discovered this. I would not like my political beliefs present here, but I think this forum, is a fabulous idea. What an excellent way to communicate with the masses, and have the masses express themselves here.
Kusuma
I really support you Mr.President. Keep going! Im just surprise why somepeople still prefer fist (war) rather than brain (dialogue) to solve problems in this so called modern world.

Karil Loubas
kar...@hotmail.com
I see that you choose only what you like; this is very curios to see how much you love yourself and how much you think that people are stupid to believe that you never receive any critics.

Nicolas
tra...@yahoo.com
Youre one of the most stupid president ever ! Im sure about half of the comments posted of this blog are just totally fake and used as propaganda.
Viktor Jančo
r.a...@centrum.sk
Nice blog, God bless Iran!

Gary Adamson
gsa...@hotmail.com
Why would anybody want to listen to you. youre surpressive
alexander
mr president you are a great leader...god bless you

Sami
sha...@yahoo.co.uk
in my views other countries need a leader like you too.i appreciate your courage and your stance and your bravery.you do not have place only in the hearts of Iranians but in the hearts of all freedom lovers around the world.but do not disappoint us like the other rulers,please.many thanks

Jerry Ford
Jer...@comcast.net
The only news we here in the United States hear about your country are the negative things reported in the media. I am certain there be some positive things coming out of Iran, but all we get to hear is the constant condemnations of George bush, Dick Cheney, etc. whom many of this countries ‎citizens see as terrorists of a sort due to the war in Iraq and the support of torture (water boarding, etc), monitoring of citizens email, web sites visited, phone calls, books checked from libraries, etc. Thank god this is an election year as any replacement is better than we have now. Thank you for you time.

TAM SIK SZE
edm...@yahoo.com.hk
Dear Mr Mahmoud Ahmadinejad My name TAM Sik Sze. I am from Hong Kong. I saw your Blog. I am to admire Mr Mahmoud Ahmadinejad have to pilot Iran to be heading for powerful and prosperous. I to support to Iran develop nuclear energy.

Frank Fu
f19...@yahoo.com.cn
Like the title and thank you for your time and for your words of inspiration.I think in this way more and more Chinese will know you and your country better. Thank you very much!!

han guanghui
ais...@126.com
you are very brave that you can fight against to USA ,I support you forever

Juan Pablo lla Amador
There are a very few leaders with the intelligence and courage to confront the zionism and the U.S. imperialism, my best wishes for you and all your people.

Jack Meyhoffer
kin...@yahoo.com
I hope someone puts a bullet in your head very soon.

muhammed ali demir
dem...@gmail.com
well, Mr. President firstly, nowadays, Iran does not give Turkey enough gas please solve to tis problem.secondly, according to some researches, in Turkey, Mr. Ahmedinejad ,you were selected best foreign leader and many Turks both shias and suniies love you..Please keep your performance up!

Dani California
People like you take the world back to darkness instead of bringing it forward to PEACE
Kevin
You are the type of man that would start WW3. You say some pretty stupid things sometimes.

ali khan
auk...@excite.com
His excellency, it gives me immense pleasure to visit your site and post my comments this fabulous blog of a leader of free world not only islamic world. i have been following the remarkable efforts that you are pursuing in bringing the world together and making it a more safe place to live.Standing against the bullies has proved that you are a man of grit and character.Its high time that all islamic nations leave their fixation of sunni -shia divide and work towards ensuring more prosperous and powerful islamic community.I am a sunni muslim but a strong critic of sunni capitalist politics which leaves behind the interest of common people.Iran is a true islamic state in meaning and spirit.May almighty allah bless Islamic Republic of iran and its visionary and distinguished leader imam khomeni(RA). may allah bless you,you are the voice of repressed people of the world

Nadim K
nad...@keihatsu.org
Mr. President; Congratulations on your recent victory. I dont know much about you, and what I do know about you comes from many conflicting sources, but I wish you good health.

Leonard Haggstrom
fil...@shaw.ca
I knew you were telling the truth.

George Cheng Shu
shu...@gmail.com
I think many people on the world do not really know Iran, especially for Irans long history and great culture. I will say, I hope Iran will use its nuclear for peace. Im happy to visit Mr. presidents blog. Its a good way to know Iran whitout the world powers sight.

paul sharfin
pfc...@yahoo.com
Mr. President I think the problem is not enough people read between the lines as to what you are saying. My hope is that the world and Iran come to an understanding that centers on PEACE

Colby Brown
tri...@att.net
God bless Iran, Bush and Isreal are unfair to Iran. I am sorry for the way you were treated at our university. All americans are not the same as Bush. Peace god bless Iran and the rest of the world!

jeannie sanden
jea...@yahoo.com
DEAR PRESIDENT AHMADINEJAD -- I PRAY FOR PEACE , THE END TO SUFFERING FOR ALL THE PEOPLE -- THE INJUSTICE ANYWHERE IS A THREAT TO JUSTICE EVERYWHERE -- WE MUST RESPECT ALL OF GODS PEOPLE / CREATION ! GOD BLESSED ALL THE WORLD -- NOT JUST AMERICA !

Isis Wong
I come to your blog just for a glance, its so liberal of you to think ou the idea of setting a blog. I didnt pay much attention to international politics before, but I find you a very intelligent and smart president~ Wish Iran and you all the best!

ken mcfly
die...@bex.net
die slow ...
Bill Cumming
bil...@s0l.co.uk
I find it strange that the leader of the Free World hides so much and is afraid of free speech. While others, like yourself, offer open discourse. I may not agree with you on some things but at least you are willing to hear differences. Peace be with you.

D DuBois
dal...@yahoo.ca
Cool... are these all real comments from real people? Or planted? Anyway, your blogs are somewhat formal sounding. Why not loosen up the language a little for the American readers? And could you tell us a little about your home life and your family and what your daily routine is like. Also what kind of music do you like? What is your favorite color and what is your favorite sport?